This is the New Year: A New Beginning
by Without-Reason-Without-Rhyme
Summary: After Dani breaks up with Santana on New Years Eve, Rachel tries to convince Santana to go to a party. But maybe staying at the apartment was the better option after all...


**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I do however own this story, I'm just borrowing the characters. **

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><p>"Santana please" I grit my teeth, ignoring her ridiculous pleas to join her and Hummel at some shit party.<p>

"It'll make you feel better" I pressed the buttons on the remote a little harder than I needed to. I landed on some channel playing a horror film. I slouched further into the couch hoping that if I ignored her enough she would leave me alone.

"There'll be a few women there..." she just couldn't seem to take the hint. "...lesbians Santana." I tried to swallow down my anger, Dani had just broken up with me and I wanted to be alone. Surely she should understand.

"You can't sit here all night and wallow in self pity, I can appreciate the dramatics Santana, sitting in a dark room New Years Eve reflecting sombrely over the mistakes of the past year. Wondering if you had done something differently would this moment be a little different? But honestly you need to" she flourished her hand "get back on the horse so to speak."

Kurt chose that moment to walk through the door, as I jabbed my nail into the mute button. I swivelled around to see his highly patterned outfit, loud, blaring colours swirled into the threads – it hurt to look at him.

I had tampered my feelings down all day as Rachel had tried to persuade me over and over again. I didn't have a moments peace.

"And what would you know Berry about getting back on the horse? Finn ditched you over five months ago and you haven't heard a word from him – have you been on any dates? Any one night stands? No you fucking haven't so leave me the fuck alone. Piss off Berry and take Hummel with you, if I have to hear your voice or look at his outfit any longer I'll fucking go all Lima Heights."

Her bottom lip quivered as she reached down to pick up her black clutch, Kurt furrowed his eyebrows behind her judging me silently for bringing up Finn, but I couldn't deal with it any longer. I messed up with Dani and Britt this year; I didn't need her pointing it out to me.

Silently they both slipped out of the apartment and I felt like I could finally take a deep breath again – relax. Frustrated I ran my fingers through my hair sinking back into the softness of the couch. I clicked the sound back on and watched as some girl tried hiding beneath the table watching the footsteps of the killer walking slowly towards her. I rolled my eyes, it made no sense to hide in the house, she would've been better off running out of the house and into the street. This film seemed familiar though, as if I had watched it before and I racked my mind for when I had seen it. Then I could feel the dread creeping up on me - I'd watched this film cuddled up with Britt in bed, she'd clung to me burying her face in my shoulder. I'd also watched it with Dani who wasn't nearly as frightened as Britt, her arm had been slung across the back of the couch stroking the nape of my neck as she sipped on her wine.

I flipped the channel over again to a Friends episode, each of them planning who was going to kiss who on New Years Eve, I stared at the screen. I'd seen this one so many times I didn't need to concentrate on it, but whilst staring vacantly I felt a tug in my chest. It was familiar, I started feeling guilty for the way I had spoken to Rachel and I fought down the urge to text and apologise to her. She was after all a friend, the kind who, when I sat in my room at night crying over Britt she would step in tentatively with wine or vodka and pour me a drink. It was one of the few times I would let her hug me and stroke my hair.

I resented her for making me feel guilty, she was the one who prodded at my emotions, ignited this remorse for the way the year had gone. I begrudgingly picked up my phone and text Rachel.

_SORRY_

I dropped it back onto the side table. That was all she would get out of me. I rubbed at my face in frustration, tilting my head back against the back of the couch. I could feel the desire creeping up on me as my hand searched the side table again to pick my phone back up. I scrolled through the messages until I came across Dani's last text.

_Can we meet up today before we go out?_

There was no kiss at the end of it and I should've known, I scrolled through the rest of her messages. The random photo's she'd taken of funny things or people around New York, cute messages saying she couldn't sleep because I wasn't next to her and the not so innocent messages stating bluntly, _I'm horny babe, come over xxx_. My heart pounded thinking how quickly I would drop whatever I was doing and I would go to her, I thought she was satisfied. I thought she was happy. But her voice still rang in my ears.

"I can't keep putting in 100% Santana when you can't give me the same in return. Don't interrupt babe – please – we both know who you're really in love with and I thought with time you would get over her but you haven't. I feel stuck in a love triangle, I'm competing with someone else and I don't play second best for anyone babe. We might as well make a clean break now, and see in the New Year with a fresh start ya know?"

Yeah I'd agreed and she nodded. She kissed my lips one last time and left me standing on my own outside Novecento. I didn't even feel the light rain begin to fall, I just felt numb as I walked back to Broadway-Lafayette St. The journey wasn't nearly long enough to order my thoughts, but one thing became apparent, unlike my break up with Britt I didn't cry I just felt shock.

Maybe Berry was right, maybe I should've gone to the party instead of sitting in the apartment alone with my thoughts. I got up and went to Kurt's room, fumbling with the middle drawer I pulled it out and unstuck his Marlboro menthols from the underside – it made me laugh how Hummel took great lengths to hide his stash like some naughty little boy. Rachel didn't know of course, she would be horrified to know of his habit that he picked up after Blaine had cheated. I wandered out of his room and over to the main window that led onto the fire escape. I swung my legs out and slid ungracefully onto the metal steps, I grabbed the lighter out of my bra and lit the cigarette observing the crowds of people below me heading from Bushwick to their various destinations – I would bet good money that none of them were heading to Times Square. I inhaled deeply and began counting stars out of boredom. It was ridiculous because it was something I would do with Britt back in Ohio, lying out in all kinds of weather - her making up names for each star. I never had the confidence to tell her that I was naming each one after her.

I sensed someone moving nearby, I turned to see my neighbour also having a smoke, he nodded and I did the same each of us acknowledging the others presence without having to ever speak. My cigarette had burned itself down to the filter, so I flicked it out into the night and with a frown and a nod at the neighbour I crept back inside.

I grabbed a Budweiser from the fridge and twisting the top off I took a long pull of it as I made my way to my room. I placed it down on the side as I changed into my black boxers and a black vest top, Kurt must've cranked the heating up again because it felt like Hawaii during summer in the apartment. I picked up my Bud and carried on drinking it until I flopped back down onto the couch, another Friends episode was playing, Chandler was vowing not to make fun of his friends , I scoffed knowing I would never make that a New Years resolution. I felt a little hungry and I couldn't be bothered to make anything for myself so I picked up my phone to order in pizza. I had four missed calls from an unknown number – probably some asshole trying to sell me something, clearing it and blocking the number I rang the pizza place ordering a ham and pineapple because Rachel wasn't there to look at me in dismay over the ham and Kurt wasn't there to remind me of the calories in one slice.

As if on cue Rachel rang my phone, a stupid star was filling the screen obviously from where she had fucked around with the settings. I denied the call, I didn't need her to try and emotionally manipulate me into going to a party just because I said sorry. She rang again and I rejected it.

I watched as Ross helplessly tried pulling his tight leather pants up his thighs and laughed when he smacked himself in the face. I was definitely focussed on that and not on the memory of me helping Britt get into her own leather pants, laughing as we both toppled over onto her bed with the effort of getting her into them. How she had gone from silly to sensuous so quickly I'll never know. But, as she brushed my hair from my face and, cupping my jaw she kissed me deeply her thumbs smoothing across my cheeks as she tipped herself further into me. She was so close but, never close enough for me to ever be satisfied, I always had that feeling of quiet anticipation before her tongue found its way into my mouth.

I focussed back onto the tv and Will and Grace had taken Ross' place. I didn't realise I had zoned out for so long. I smoothed my hand back over my Budweiser, as I picked it up to take another sip there was a knock on the apartment door. I placed the bottle back down and gathering up my purse I made my way over. Some miserable looking guy practically shoved the pizza into my hands then extended his hand to receive the cash. I shoved the cash forcefully at him, not giving a shit about being polite.

"A thanks would've been nice buddy" I shouted, but as I turned to close the door a flash of blonde caught my eye. I turned back again, certain that I was hallucinating.

But there was no mistaking that smile, those blue eyes and that ridiculous fur hat...

"Britt?"

"Hey Santana" I looked her over again to make sure it was really her, she smiled down at the ground all shy and coy. Her gaze trailed back up to me and readjusting her bag onto her other shoulder, I couldn't help but notice the other bags sitting at her feet.

"You always did look cute in boxers" she winked at me. I was a nervous wreck - I was shaking, out of fear or hope I'm not quite sure.

But either way I knew I was in deep shit.

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><p><strong>AN: So thanks for giving this a chance. It's only going to be 2/3 chapters at most as it is purely for the New Year! I also need to focus on my other stories too... Let me know if you liked it! Thanks again for reading and I hope you have a wonderful New Year :)**


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